The D word

So, in taking stock of most of the major mistakes I have made in my life, it has become abundantly clear that my #1 gihugic-est failure in life is financial. I flat-out suck at money management. I have no discipline, and I like stuff too much, and I am far too quick to throw down money I don't have to help others -- which is great, if I am helping people who actually need help with things they actually need help with, but in actuality what I do more of is enable people who are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves by providing them with things they don't need in the slightest, at my own expense. This, friends, is A Very Bad Idea and can lead you to A Very Bad Place very quickly.

Therefore...Big Resolution for 2013 is edited to one simple word. Discipline. It will take discipline to continue to blowdry my hair every day, particularly as I start my new job and must report in at 6:30 every morning. But am I going to do it? You bet your ass. It will take discipline to go out and get the second job that I pretty much have resigned myself that I need to get in order to pay off my debt and begin saving. But am I going to do it? You bet your ass. It will take discipline to tell you guys, my friends, that for the next year of my life I am going to be pretty antisocial as I get my shit in order, and I hope that I will not lose friends due to this but I am sure that I will. But am I going to do it anyway? You bet your ass.

I am tired of looking at my bank statements and saying, "Where in the HELL did all my money go?" and realizing it all went to absolute and utter nonsense. I am tired of not having a backup plan, because I spent mine 3 years ago and never bothered to refill the coffers. I am tired of driving around a car that needs $2000 in work and hoping the engine doesn't fall out of it because I don't have $20 for an oil change, much less $2000 for a whole slew of things to be done.

So I dug out the Dave Ramsey books my father got me as a not-so-gentle hint years ago, blew the dust off of them, and cracked them open for the first time today. I am about to draft my very-first-ever budget. I am doing it, dammit, and it's going to suck and it's going to be hard but I am beginning to become used to doing things that are horrible and difficult.

Somebody please just periodically remind me that when I can actually retire in 35 years, I will be glad I got off my ass, albeit a little later than I should have.