Hair blow-dryed.
Emerald City of Oz nearly completed - at least I hope so, as I've plowed through 245 pages thus far today and am getting pretty sleepy. But I won't go to sleep until it's done, regardless.
Interview today nailed. All that worrying for nothing! I go back next week to spend a few hours working with the school director behind the front desk to get a feel for things and probably to pass a test or two and then I hope they make an offer. I am super, super pumped about this position now that I know more about it and have seen the school. What a great opportunity!!! I would spend my mornings in the infant room as a teacher, then have a few hours off starting at lunchtime, come back around 3 to work the desk and close the school down - be out by 6:45 every day. No weekends. No holidays. No nights. And babies!!!!!!! AND office experience. I loved everyone I met today and got such a good vibe from the place. Very excited.
And THEN! I got home to a message asking when I can come in for an interview for an office manager position with a tax and accounting firm. It sounds decidedly less fun, but still - can't hurt to go and see, right? I am feeling worlds better today about the future than I was yesterday, that is for sure.
Helping that is the overwhelming show of support I got today from so many people wishing me well and encouraging me. The last month has shown me what an incredible support system of people I have in my life, and I am humbled every day before the love that my family and friends are showing me. I feel so, so, so lucky and proud that I have so many outstanding people in my life, and I am going to try to remember how loved I am and not allow myself to be so very devastated by being unloved by one measly person. Even if he is a pretty important person. I know in my heart who I am, and I am surrounded by people who know too and who believe in me, and I know that I tried so hard every day to be good to Sean - I left everything out there that I could, and there should be no shame or regret in that. If he chooses to disregard all the good that there is in me, there is not much I can say or do to change his mind. And good luck to him finding somebody who can love him more. I mean that without malice - I should probably make that clear. I hope that he does find somebody who can be everything he wants. I just fear that his expectations are unrealistically high and he will continue to be disappointed by us mere mortals. But I suppose that is not my concern, not any more. All I can do is live my life the best I can - and Lord knows I am putting all my effort into that. What happens from there remains to be seen. I won't lie and say there isn't a part of me determined to prove Sean wrong, because there is a very, very large part that wants to do so, and a part of me too that persists in thinking if I just really get my shit together maybe he will change his mind -- but that part is shrinking every day, or at least becoming much quieter. And that part also knows that the more together my shit gets, the less inclined I am going to be to turn my heart over to somebody who was so quick to discard it as though it meant nothing to him.
No comments:
Post a Comment