opening my eyes

I missed a couple days! Bad blogger.

Hair's been blow-dried the last few days. I am even getting better at it. Sort of.
Books are being read.
I worked at the preschool for a few hours today as a sort of "trial." I loved it and I watched the school director send an email to the owner imploring him to hire me, so let's take that as a very good sign. I fell in love with a little boy who, every time I went in the toddler room, attached himself to my leg and looked up adoringly into my face until I would pick him up. I think this place will be good for my soul.

This probably will not make sense because the thoughts are just beginning to become clear to me as it is, and I have a raging headache on top of it, but it's been on my mind and it's time to put it out there.

Most of you know I got a DUI last year. Stupid, stupid, stupid choice and one I have paid for in a lot of ways. Life lesson, kids - taxis are a lot cheaper and less humiliating than DUIs. Anyway, part of my probation involved taking the state-mandated risk-reduction DUI class. I didn't really know what to expect; I figured it would be a lot of videos and workbook work about the dangers of driving drunk, sort of a longer version of the abridged lesson you get in regular driver's ed. Not so, friends. This class was about choices and consequences - much less about drinking and driving and much more about high-risk drinking or drug choices. It was pretty eye-opening. I do not think I am in any danger of becoming an alcoholic, but if I were to continue down the path I had been going down, who is to say what would have happened? I was in a bad environment for me, one where heavy (and I mean HEAVY) drinking was considered normal, and encouraged. There was more that I wanted to say but I realize now that it is not the time or place. Instead, a quote. From the Bible, no less.

1 Corinthians 13:7  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

My challenge is to balance that with a healthy dose of detatchment and self-respect. I can love somebody and want the best for them and be concerned without allowing their choices to negatively affect my life. It will take time and practice, but it can be done.